I didn’t even study

For a long time, my family has been interested in our ancestry. Stories have been passed down over generations, but folklore can be distorted over time. We’ve been rumored to be a bit of a mutt, having so many different nationalities and ethnicities that it’s impossible to anticipate exactly where our lineage lies. Whereas I am a poster child for German/Scottish/Irish heritage, my dad has undeniable Native American features. Our family has picked out different bits and pieces from the genetic soup, but our curiosity about who got what has finally been answered.


Following a big Thanksgiving sale on Ancestry.Com’s DNA testing kits, Kyle, my sister, and I banded together to get our whole family tested. We’re impatient jerks, though, so we spit in our tubes immediately and sent the sample off to be tested, while we giggled and wrapped our parents’ tests, before shoving them under our trees.


The waiting period was slated to be 6-8 weeks, but as I mentioned, we’re all very impatient, so we kept each other updated with any changes that came down from Ancestry.Com’s website. Thankfully, they seem to have anticipated that we’d be clicking the update button frequently, and were kind enough to provide us all step-by-step explanations of what our spit was up to. Finally, mid-December, the notice came down that we could expect our results on December 21st.

In my excited stupor, I woke up at the crack of noon to check for my results and was met with this:


I said words unbecoming of a lady, but these things happen, right? Nothing to do but wait, checking the website hourly every waking moment. Bright and early in the afternoon of December 26th, my results rolled in. Drum roll, please?


Surprise!!! I’m white! But also, I’m British?


Well, let’s be more realistic… It’s more like this:


I’m a little let-down by how vague the results are, but I think I have just seen too many commercials and subconsciously expected some surprise result to be tucked in there. Aside from a very obvious lack of Native American representation, this is aligns with family history fairly smoothly. We’re Northern Europeans who found their way to Coal Country, USA.

Overall, it was a fun experiment, but I’m certainly glad we bought the tests on sale. The resulting information doesn’t seem worth $100, unless you’re very ethnically ambiguous and don’t mind regional generalities. For me, it’s typical Ford girls shenanigans, and I’m glad to know what I already knew: These knuckleheads are my people.

2 thoughts on “I didn’t even study

  1. I’ve wondered. Here’s what I find so interesting… (I haven’t done it. I’d like to, also because of things said… Like I am PALE WHITE but my maternal side insists I have significant amounts of Cherokee… Mmmm ok…) but these news stories keep coming up where someone found their mother, etc because they did one of these and it was all entered into a data base. Where IS said data base? And what is whomever is controlling the base, planning to do with the base?


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