Let the moon shine in

I made it through the Shadow Work. One moon cycle, just as I planned, and I have covered so much range that I don’t even know how to begin explaining it to anyone. Describing it to others as a “midlife crisis” did a stellar job of stemming any further questions. I guess there’s some kind of stigma against questioning your past and facing your future? I’m always the last to know these things. And while “midlife crisis” doesn’t truly encompass what I’ve been up to, mentally, it’ll suffice.

I feel. . . whole. Solid. Real. Like I’ve been in a hazy dream that covered many years of my life and now I’m awake and stretching out muscles that have been resting too long.

I’ve taken steps the last few weeks to move to a visual representation that is more “me” and less “Corporate Me.” I colored the underside of my strawberry brunette hair black, re-pierced my nostril, and had my first tattoo done. Plus, I have slowly transitioned my entire wardrobe to black (Oh. Man. Remind me to write about this again in more depth later because this is seriously the best thing ever.) Understand, please, that these are not moves made to be “edgier” or “hipper” or “more youthful.” I’m simply clearing away what isn’t me to make room for what is, and that’s never a bad thing. Everyone should try it.

As for rebuilding after everything crumbled, that’s still in early stages. The ground has stopped rumbling and things have finished falling around me, so now I’m just sort of standing here with a broom, sweeping the sidewalk until I can get in and begin meaningful construction. I’m happy to be at a place where I can, once again, whistle while I work.

One thought on “Let the moon shine in

  1. My wardrobe is almost all black. There’s a little bit of dark grey in there, but it’s mostly black. It was never a conscious decision, but the more I let myself choose clothes that I actually liked (I like black clothes but there’s a lot of “You should inject some colour into your wardrobe” bullshit out there) the more creative I became with different fabrics and silhouettes.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s