Nicole Ford Thomas was raised by stray cats in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, living off Baja Blast Mountain Dew until the ripe age of 21. After leaving her childhood Happy-Meal Box, she forged her way across the dimensional borders and has been wreaking havoc on this world ever since. Nicole Ford Thomas is not her name, however, as her real name has no possible articulation that the human mind can comprehend. She decided to take up writing after being inspired by the Moon Constitution of 1777, and she has been attempting to translate it into one of Earth’s many dead languages. 

Nicole Ford Thomas has accomplished many things in her life, including scrubbing the ceilings of the Taj-Mahal clean in ten minutes, eating an entire Californian Sequoia Redwood, and riding Apollo’s sun chariot into what is now the Mojave desert. You can find Nicole Ford Thomas when you least expect her, and where you most fear her to be.